streams of thought....september 30th, 2014

It is the last day of September… how do I choose to walk in it? A day… a moment… a casual meeting… a commute from one place to another… each tick of the clock is a gift.  Before I walk into the world of academia I want to put onto paper some thoughts from the creative

Do you remember having an encounter that seems to capture you but yet releases you? It is difficult to describe actually.  When I tried explaining it to myself I thought of the replacement of the wolves in Yellowstone Park.  A beautiful creature is moved from a place of danger from its environment as well as a danger to its environment.  They are captured and then take to a safer place… captured yet release into a place that provides and protects.

What are some of the words that capture you today?  Are they words that release you or are they words that restrict you?

Here are some that have been in my thoughts this morning… happiness, sadness, hope, fear, trust, peace, stillness, contentment, and perception.

Each have separate meaning yet many of them seem to be intertwined with each other. Sometimes they seem so desperate for meaning, as if they are too limiting.  However, here is where I presently reside with each of them. 

Happiness and sadness – emotions that are attached to the present. They are based on how we feel at the moment based on our interpretation of the current environment we find ourselves in…

Hope and fear – emotions that connect with the future. They are dependent upon our perspective view of life and potential events. Our perspective view is going to determine which one of these is going to be the dominant emotion. It is the farthest away from our present situation yet it seems to be one that dictates how we live with the present emotion.

Trust - an emotion that sees the living around us and either causes us to hold on tightly to what we have held on to for so long or causes us to let go to explore the possibility.

Peace – it is the undercurrent that holds up our present emotion.  When our peace becomes thin the more turbulent the “waters of our soul” becomes and allows us to drift to the more unsettling perceptions.

Stillness and contentment – the bonds that create trust.  When we encounter someone that personifies these two traits alone there is something within us that says that we can dwell in trust. These are the two arms that hold us as we let go of our present emotion of self-doubt.

Perception – the hand that holds the key to our freedom of being or locks us in a cage of negativity. This is the emotion that determines which one of the present time and future time emotions that we will choose from.

John O’Donohue writes in his book Eternal Echoes, the following:

“One of our sacred duties is to be open and faithful to the subtle voices of the universe which come alive in our longing.”

No matter our faith or non-faith… our age, race, or gender… our economic status of having or wanting… the words that we choose to reside with this morning will determine the perception that we have throughout the rest of the day.  And what word we choose to reside with is determined by the perception that we have at this moment.

Namaste…… shalom…. Peace and Light…

streams of thought....september 14th, 2014

So, where do we go from here?  I feel as if I am on a pier looking at the different schooners coming and going into the harbor.  Each carrying a person that is destined to go this way or that.  Some to never been seen again and others to causally meet all over again when Destiny should allow.

I have my rain gear in my knapsack. No Map other than the one that speaks to my heart. My mind is full of visions and dreams. Along with Robert Kennedy, I look into the new horizon and see what is and ask “why” and see what isn’t and ask “why not”

Why not me?  I wonder to myself.  I have met people who have encouraged me to step off the pier and onto a schooner to go explore and reinvent.

Why, do I not believe what others have seen and told me?  It is as if they have gone to foreign land within me and have come back to tell me all that they have seen and a lot of it has been good.

I look to my means and say that there is no way. 

I wonder how many of us give up the richness of who we are because we see the poverty of where we reside.  I wonder how many see a box of crayons and only take out a few because we are fearful to empty out the box. We are… afraid

“Afraid of what?” my Companion of Possibilities asks…

Are you afraid to fail?  Yet, you fail at the mere rejection of practicing who you are.

Are you afraid to be seen?  Yet you are seen and have been seen every day. 

Are you afraid of succeeding? Yet you succeed at not taking the next step every time you say “no”.   

I am not sure what I think about the saying “That life is like an oyster”. That metaphor is so confining.  Oh, I get it.  Yes, a bit of Life’s grain of sand somehow gets into this nasty looking shell; which by the way is how we have allowed our perspective and heart to appear in life some times.  Over time we allow the environment to toss us and constantly wash over us in such a way that we develop a harden exterior; yet all the while inside we strive to be pliable, strong, and resilient. Yet in the midst of all this external violence that develops a crusty old shell there drops a grain of sand. The shell holds that grain of sand and somehow miraculously it turns into a pearl.

What if….

What if that clam did not open itself up to its elements? Well, simply stated, it would no longer live because it would not be able to take in what sustains it’s life… also, it would not be open to creating a pearl, a beautiful development of being.  

We, like the clam, allow the externalities of life to beat against us.  We feel the tides of time wash over us and yet we are afraid to open ourselves up to that same movement. If we are no longer are open to nourishment, we will die inside ourselves. Yes to be open to life and possibilities makes us vulnerable. However, in our vulnerability we become open to making something beautiful and to offer that beauty as a gift to others.

So, where do we go from here? 

We know in our mind’s eye what is behind us so there is no need to turn around to see it.  The past is yet a reference book to help us to understand and possibly write what is before us. 

The voices of the past either encouraged or discouraged us.

The new voices of encouragement are from those that have seen our potential and are here to remind that we have a greater story that is yet to be written.  Also, there will be voices that may discourage us so let them be considered as reminders of lessons that need to be learned.

We also know that there will be moments of silence. Silence has its own voice. Be open to the solitude of it. The sound of time’s movement will be all that we hear just like in the silence of the ocean’s bed.  We all need the sounds of silence so that our bodies can take a moment to rest. A segment of time that allows our body, mind, and spirit to catch up with each other.

As I step on to the schooner of choice this morning, there is the rocking of the vessel… maybe a creaking of soul’s bones… the flexibility of water allows the boat to move as I step into it.  This movement reminds me that life will have its ups and downs; however, it will carry me farther than if I stood on the pier wondering…

“what if”

steams of thought...august 31st, 2014

This year we have had a relatively pleasant summer.  It has been a nice blend of intense heat along with what was seemingly a much wetter season than we are accustomed to having in this high plains desert city.  Well, that’s been my perception.

Perception... the act of perceiving.  Ah, there is that word... "act".  Everyone knows that I love looking at words (and it drives a lot people crazy when I do). Yet, when I think of “act”, I am instantly thinking of a person in movement that displays on some level their sense of identity.

And if I am correct then I have some questions for each of us…

Have our perceptions changed over time?  Have we lived a life that challenges those previous perceptions that we may have held... no carried... and guided us from the distant past?

I dare to say that if our perceptions that we had twenty years.... perhaps maybe even twenty months... yes, even twenty days ago have not changed or fluidly adapted then we have not truly lived life.  Think about this for a moment. If we have not grown emotionally, physically, mentally, or spiritually then we have become nothing more than a “garden gnome” in life. We will have sat or stood in "life's yard" watching cars... people... pets... rabbits and squirrels go by without a mere reflection or awareness of what is all around us.

Do you know who you are?  Do you know what you have become or have the ability to become? Do you have a dream so vivid that you can feel the emotions within you rise up when you see the life that you desire?

What are you passionate about?

Some of us are thinking about the “end of life” issues; while others are thinking about living a life.

While being aware of the former, I prefer the latter. Also, I deeply believe that we live, feel, and think in tune with the seasons of time.

This is the season of summer, a time of action, and it doesn’t feel conducive to deep reflection. No, this is the time of year that we go to the parks or take a vacation or have family reunions.  It is the season for bombastic celebrations. When like the "Fourth of July" fireworks, we seemingly just want to announce to the world.... HEY, I AM HERE!!!!!!!

This is a season when we externally search for something new; even if we go to the same beach house or camp site, we celebrate the moments when we discover a "jewel".

The season of summer... a time when we celebrate life and a time when death seems to have been suspended. Sure, we will grief over the losses that we had this summer when the leaves start to fall and we begin to move back inside ourselves to look a bit longer into the mirror.

Seasons. Movement of time. Life is all about cycles.

So again I ask…

What is that you dream about?  Is it playing on the beaches of the world?  Is it to hold your grandchild until they fall asleep in your arms? Have you ever dreamt about living at peace in your community? Have you dreamt of waking up next to someone that you are passionately connected with so much that you think more about how their soul feels than you do about having sex with them? Have you ever dreamt of climbing a mountain peak? Have you dreamt about writing a book or a song? Have you dreamt about the deeper reward of finishing a marathon, triathlon, or maybe even running around the block?

Here is my next question… when will you do them? Does your mental apparitions reflect your values? If they bring you peaceful contentment and celebration for your “inner greater angel”, then just simply make them reality.

Dreams are for those that sleep.  Let your "inner sense of being" awake and let your mind, spirit, and body transition as one fluid movement.

We are greater than the soulful slumber that has visions.  Yes, I will say this because I know that we all are thinking it… we are limited.  I get it.

I remember when Carlos, my CNA, came into my room and told me that I was going to take my first walk and it was to a chair in the room. I remember the day that I could not even walk around the block without having to stop at every corner to rest and catch my breath. I remember the day that the doctors finally said that I could go for a jog not a walk. I remember telling myself on my first day of jogging that I would "jog a block / walk a block". I remember.... yet, I am here.

We allow our perceived limitations to become bigger than the vision that we see for ourselves. Guess what.  Those limitations are nothing more than exercises for our soul. When we overcome one then we feel empowered to take on the next. We will not accomplish "greatness" with one step but we become better with each step that we take to accomplish the greatest challenge of all.  That challenge is to live a life in the most meaningful way that reflects the truest spirit of who we can become.

Our life is present whether we are or not.

streams of thought...january 6th, 2014

Welcome back…
You know the one thing about having a holiday in the middle of the week is that no one really wants to accomplish much in the few days before or even afterwards.  We seem to be ok with just maintaining. We want to just keep things floating along; so that when the new week begins, we can then start to move forward. Hopefully, we gave ourselves permission to have a moment of relaxation and renewal during the past two weeks. I know that it can be difficult to rest.
I love introspection time and that might be why I enjoy the winter time so much. The fact that I enjoy it too much might explain my being single, too. However, I think sometimes that periods of solitude can be so long that we lose track of time and its purpose. We can lose our concentration of what we needed to do and the time frame within we have to do it in. Solitude and introspection are like a lot of other things. They need to be time of fluidity.  A time of immersion that teaches us how to move in a new way.
I am asking myself this morning… with my warm cup of coffee nearby me… “T” all curled up asleep on her mat… what is motivating me?
If my motivation is fear, then I will run out of energy before too long.  I am afraid that time is too short. In fear, we will either fight or run as hard as we can but our adrenaline will only carry us so far.  Our body will reregulate itself and it will search for equilibrium.
If it is a dream, then I will need to act upon it before it becomes a fantasy.  It will just be a vision of what could be but it never becomes tangible. It will only be words spoken or thoughts of what might have been but it never becomes anything more than just an idea. 
What motivates us?  It is a good question because right now a lot of us are looking for something to motivate us to keep the resolutions that we made just last week. We are beginning to question what prompted us to set the goals that we did only a few days ago. Oh, we can point to the clothes that we wanted to but are not able to fit into.  We can look at our kids then say that we need more energy and stamina to keep up with them; so we need to get healthier. Or we can evaluate our current employment situation and determine that we need that next level of certification or degree.
What inspires us? It may be a very fine line between motivate and inspire. But when I think of something that inspires me I begin to feel it more in my “heart”… a place that is deeper within me then when I am motivated.  When I am motivated it become more of a logical process. When I think of being motivated I think of something that externally is moving me to do something. For example, I know that I have bills to pay; so I am motivated to find work that pays me enough to meet my obligations. When I see something that ignites a sense of creativity, I am then inspired.  I want to act on that stimulus in a way that resonates with my core values and reflects a part of who I am.
Stop.
Breathe.
Instead of only thinking about what is going to motivate you, think about what is going to inspire you.  What is going to touch your emotional and rational attributes? We might be best challenged to try to discover how we will best achieve equilibrium; because without it none of this will be sustainable for the long term.
Let’s look at our calendars and break script…. see you on the trails…. Namaste