Thursday, April 24, 2014

Streams of thought....april 24th, 2014

“It is the passion that is in a kiss that gives to it its sweetness; it is the affection in a kiss that sanctifies it.”   

Christian Nevell Bovee 

It is early in the morning and the aroma of my freshly brewed cup coffee is still filling the air… the sun is beginning to shine through the venetian slats… the warmth of the sun filtering through the window glass is creeping along my desk.  The sounds of the day are awaken as is my own spirit. 

It is a new day.  One that is filled with no deadlines of classes or papers.  Yesterday, I sat in my chair after a moment of mediation and wondered aloud to my cat, Tigre, “what will we do today?”  Her empty glance at me looked as if the words fell into her ears and her look told me all that I expected to hear.  She looked towards me flipping her tail as if to say that it was my issue to deal with and then she looked away. 

We find ourselves many times moving from one busy schedule to another like high flying artist that glide from one high swing to the next.  Our only safety net is the one that we have created in our own minds. We move from one event to another… always… expecting... another… event… to be there for us… to… grasp.

I was wondering a few weeks ago about this issue of “passion”. 

I was in the midst of a therapeutic shift that unbeknownst to me was already in place, much like a hidden treasure in the kitchen cupboards of your grandparent’s home.   This shift that I was going through was like finding a part of me that I had never recognized before and all I could do was smile.  In fact after I had become aware of this shift, I sat with my therapist relating to her my discovery and she gave me that same smile; as if to say, that she was glad that I finally found it too. In the midst of this shift, I came to some important life questions and one of them was about the detection of “meaning”. 

So, I started to ask myself, “What do I feel pulled to?”

 As I moved through this transition from one phase to another, I sat down one morning to do some of my writings and I came across this idea of “passion”.  I began to wonder more about what “passion” looks like and how does it make me feel to have it in a healthy fashion this time. 

See, I had fought for so long against the unhealthiness of my body that I had almost forgot what it is that I am passionate about… other than survival.

It has not been that long ago when I would wake up and the first thing on my mind would be whether or not my body was going to be consumed with an infection.  At that time, my day consisted of trying to get back to a “normal” life while giving myself daily injections of antibiotics through my “pic-line”?  My passion during that time was just to get healthy; so, that I could get back to a normal life… a different life than before… but a normal life.   

Now, I sit here at my desk typing out a few words and not wondering what life will look like but more about how will I act it out. This the life that I have chosen and I find meaning in it.  I had never really expected it to look like this when I was younger. The sounds of wind chimes in the background… the smell of hot dark coffee blending with the warmth of the sunlight on a solitude morning… me with my thoughts playing as the wind chimes in my soul. 

What is passion?  In many ways it is our alarm clock.  It is our sunlight peeking through the venetian blinds of our imagination.  It is the companion when the fears and the successes of life have faded away to only come out again on “special” events.  It pulls us into the direction that our sense of being longs to go in.  Passion is the act of being who we truly are meant to be.  The quote above says much more than we may see at a first glance. Passion is the act of the kiss.  It is the movement of the artist that glides his hands… or her voice… or their feet… that reflect a heart of intimacy in displaying who they are within themselves. And the kiss is not an act of function but of celebration.  However, it is the love or affection that we have for what we are passionate that sanctifies it… or in other words sets it apart from all others.  Sometimes we meet some individuals with the kiss of greeting… a small sign of more than just acknowledgement of handshake. With passion we kiss someone that we know much more intimately. When we know a person with intimacy…someone that we have a deep abiding, almost bubbling, affection for the kiss becomes much more than just an act.  It is a sign of what they mean to us.

Passion is much more than an act of writing a check to an organization.  Passion is much more than saying that we support a group of individuals. A deep affective passion moves us from our slumber and pulls us to an intimate act of setting apart a space of our being so that we can reflect a deeper better part of who we truly are in this movement of time. It is the willingness to be almost consumed with the thought how do I do this well and how does this give me a sense of meaning that soothes my own soul.

We all have a something or someone that we believe in and we believe in it so much that we tell others from time to time.  We all have a sports team or a politician or a band or a movement that we claim as our own.  We wear the caps and t-shirts.  We put the bumper stickers on our cars. We go to rally events so that we can be in a community of supporters. However, do they make us want to get out of bed so we can find a way to engage with them?  Passion will do that. Passion will pull us not push us.  We detect the greater sense of passion and we cannot escape it gravitational yearning for us to engage with it.

 Rebecca West, an English writer, wrote these words,

“It is the soul’s duty to be loyal to its own desires. It must abandon itself to its master passion.”    

 We wake up every morning with one of two feelings. 

We either wake up with emptiness in our souls that we spend all day trying to fill


We wake up with an immense passion that we cannot wait to act out and share with all that we meet.

 It is the search for and the embracing of our soul’s passion that defines not just who we are but who people remember us to be.

 breaking script….Namaste


Tuesday, April 8, 2014

streams of thought....april 8th, 2014

“To accomplish great things we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.” Anatole France

As a child, we all seemed to have had dreams. 

We all played games of adventure and fantasy. 

When I was young boy, we would many times grow up wanting to be the noble character of a fireman, or a sports figure, or a doctor.  It was a time when many of us simply may have wanted to be what our father’s had been… a farmer… a salesman… a person that went off to do whatever it was that they did.  During that same era, the young girls wanted to be teachers… or nurses… or to be doctors as well…. or they, too, simply may have wanted to be whatever their mothers might have been. 

Growing up in the Midwest during that time was just simpler actually.  It was simple… somewhat satisfying… yet… there was something within us that wanted more.

I remember dreaming of becoming a park ranger.  I liked the outdoors… the chance to live near the mountains… In fact, I vaguely remember a television show that was about being a national park ranger.  It was exciting… you lived in some amazing places… and did exciting things… and you got to rescue people because it seemed like every week there was somebody that needed rescuing. Then I realized that a park ranger in the mountains had to climb a lot of things; so, I quickly crossed that dream off my list because I had this fear of heights.  

We all have dreams; even now at this very moment. 

We have things that we want to accomplish.  We have weaknesses that we want to overcome.  We may be facing an illness that we are working to not only move on from but to regain a life that we once had or thought that we wanted back.  We may be struggling with a break in a relationship that seems entangled in our hearts and souls. We may dream of retiring to that beach front cottage or to travel the globe experiencing the richness of life that we have worked so hard to develop.

To dream is the life of the inner child within us.  It is the simplicity of that child that is willing to dare the impossible because, as a child, there aren’t any impossibilities.  The child within us wants to be courageous and to do that which is considered risky.  Many times the most colorful of ideas come from the child within us.  Yet, a child needs something to empower them to act out their fantasy.  It needs security. It needs reassurance. It needs to feel that no matter what happens tomorrow will be another opportunity to act the dream all over again.  It needs an adult.

The adult.  We all know this part of us all too well.  The adult is the one that says that there needs to be order and tells the child all the time that its fantasy is silly.  The adult in us counts the cost that says it is too risky to do some of the things that the inner child wants to attempt.  It tells the inner child in the back of our minds to sit down and to buckle up. The adult…. It is the one that disciplines us sometimes because the mischievous child acts out a dream on their own. It is the one that sets the boundaries too tightly because…. Well, it doesn’t want the child to be hurt.  Our adult personae tells us to be rational in an irrational world.  All the while, the adult part of us wants to have freedom to have fun… but we have stifled the child so much that we lost sight of it.

Then there is the adolescent within us that has the energy to act upon the dreams of the inner child but still needs the guidance of the inner parent.  The inner teenager says that they know that it can do what the inner child wants to do… and do it even bigger.  It is the “older sibling” that is not willing to listen to the parent because it is still deeply connected with the younger child but won’t admit it.  It is the part of us that wants to discover who we are by trying to do all that we can.  It is the energy storehouse of all the inner passion… healthy and unhealthy.  It is the reckless one that doesn’t mean to be careless but they are still trying to find their own meaning in life.  The inner adolescent is the one that looks in the mirror every day and says “what can I accomplish today because I am invincible enough to overcome anything”.  The only problem is that sometimes that internal mirror is a distorted reflective object that can create some unhealthy imagination.

We all have dreams….

We all have the ability to release the inner child into the playground of possibilities.

We all have the inner teenager that says that I can do anything… I just don’t know what it is that I want to do.

We all have the adult that has learned over time how to protect itself and to plan out a contingency when things go awry.

Sometimes we forget about that inner child and lose sight of our dreams of desires. 

Many times the inner adolescent shows up as our insecurities of just not knowing what we want to do and questions sometimes if the dream that we dare to “dance” with will say yes.

Life is filled with risks and dares us to dream… when the inner part of who we truly are becomes present that is when we can live this life with the richness of meaning.


Breaking Script… Namaste.