Showing posts with label Freedom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Freedom. Show all posts

Friday, May 9, 2014

streams of thought....may 9th, 2014


A season of another transition is here. 

We have gone through the season of winter, a time of introspection.

We have entered into the season of spring that elicits our sense of rebirth and renewal. 

Soon, we will be going into the heat of summer, a time when we get out and play even past the setting of the sun.

Many of us are aware of the fact that we are going through a chronological transition, as well.  Some of us are going to be spending the last summer time together with a son or a daughter, who will be heading off to college or maybe they are already preparing to go on their first adventure. Many of us are transitioning from one location to another in search of a new life… a new love… a new sense of meaning.

I remember graduation time at my small local high school in Illinois.  It was an intimate affair and of course we had the graduation parties afterwards. Many of us talked about getting into college while others talked about getting jobs. We had dreams of doing something.  I think that if I had the opportunity to ask every one of my classmate what their lives would look like decades later; no one could really imagine how it would look today.  Every one of us had successes and losses.  A number of us have had the challenges of health and the turmoil of ruptured relationships; while hopefully most of us have lived challenging but yet very fulfilling lives

A few days after my graduation, I got into my Buick Century (two door of course) and drove off to a place south of Gallup, New Mexico.  Prior to this time, I had never driven past St. Louis before and even then that was with some friends; however, here I was getting ready to drive to a place where I had never been to before and to be honest was just a dot on a map.  Now, keep in mind this was before cell phones, GPS, and the internet.  So, I literally was driving alone.

After three days, I arrived to the road that was supposed to take me to my destination. I drove past a building that said “Vanderwagen” a number of times before I pulled in; so that I could ask for directions. As I walked into the building, I was mesmerized by all of the First American artifacts and the presence of being near the Zuni and Navajo reservations.  The gentleman behind the counter was very welcoming and asked me what he could do to help me.  So, I told him that I was looking for a camp for Navajo children that I was going to work at for the summer.  I pulled out my letter that told me the name of the town was called Vanderwagen and I wondered if he could give me some directions.  He smiled and said, “Well, you found Vanderwagen.”  I looked at him rather puzzled and asked him what he meant.  I soon discovered that this location that I was standing in was a mailstop and… it was Vanderwagen.  He did give me some additional information as how to get to the camp and I left with mixed emotions. 

As I walked out to my car, I realized that I had one of two options. I could travel down a dirt road and search for the place I was expected to be at for the summer or I could get in my car and drive back to my home. 

I chose to drive down the dirt road.

We all face transitions and opportunities.  If I had not gone to New Mexico, I would have never had the experience of being immersed in my first cultural experience.  It was that experience that eventually led me to the field of social justice and counseling.  If I had not driven down that dirt road, I would have driven away from an experience that has had a lifelong impact in my life. 

Yes, the road was dusty… bumpy… and winding but it was necessary.  I had to go down that road to get to where I learned a lot about myself and others.

We all have opportunities that pull us down a road that is unknown.  It is a sense of a calling or a direct action caused by a passion.  We may resist it or even consider going in another direction altogether. We may even go down the road and get to the destination; however, because it does not appear as we thought it would we may both dismiss it and possibly even miss out on a life changing experience.

 Life is never a clean map.  It all has to do with that thing that we call “tomorrow”.  We have no idea what tomorrow looks like and in the cycle of life we may even become unaware of what is possible. We look at today and miss its engagement because we are so enamored by the possible gift of the next day. We also live in a mindset that is linear.  After accomplishing our goals, we are many times lost because we are looking for the next one. 

We live in a natural world that moves in tides.  I think that this natural state of being is one reason we find the sound of the ocean so peaceful. We lay in the sand or sit on an outgrowth of land while listening to the water come in and the move out. We see the effects of the evening tides on the sandcastles that we make and we give no thought to building another one.  

I have read recently that the better life is one where we are being pulled into it as opposed to being pushed into it.  Having the choice to say “yes” to a calling or a direction gives us a sense of freedom.  However, for us to say “yes” we also had to say “no” to another option. For me to get into my car that day and drive to the camp, I had to say “no” to going back home.

So, we are in a season of change.  We should take the time to know more about ourselves and what truly pulls us.  We will then have the opportunity to grow in a new way.

We all have this season. 

We all have an inner flame that is silently burning within our soul’s threshold.  This inner fire is either going to grow more intensely or… it is about to go out.  A fire needs only a few things but the one thing that it does need to keep going and to grow is air.  So, breathe in the moment.

We need to find a way to not let the light within to go out…

because if we do…

it will be a dark and cold world.   

Friday, March 14, 2014

streams of thought....march 14th, 2014

“And you? When will you begin that long journey into yourself?” – Rumi

I remember the first time I went to Chautauqua Park in Boulder, Colorado.  At first, I wasn’t sure what Molly, my two year old puppy, and I would find once we got there.  It was a hot summer’s day and the crowded parking lot told me that we were not about to do this hike alone. Molly, ever the one that wanted to run off to see what could be found, was a handful to contain.  The park is a vast playground for dogs and humans alike. As we started off, we soon found that we had a choice of trails to take and I liked the one that seemed to be the less traveled.  Quickly we discovered why it was less travelled. The beginning stretch was long… baking in the sun… and all up hill. Somewhere near the end my four legged friend turned to look at me as she was asking me what was I thinking. All I could do was just keep moving. As we continued on, finding some shade thankfully, I turned around to see a sight that simply made me stop in amazement. It wasn’t just the view of the valley from another perspective but it was the silence of solitude, on this lesser travelled path, that made the difficult effort worth it all.

John O’Donohue, in his book Eternal Echoes, writes,

When you open your heart to discovery, you will be called to step outside the comfort barriers within which you have fortified your life. You will be called to risk old views and thoughts and to step off the circle of routine and image. This will often bring turbulence.”

Many times we sit in a coffee shop or in the solitude of our homes pondering over what our lives have been like.  Some of us have had amazing lives… we have travelled to faraway lands… we have held in our arms the warmth of a small baby… we have been present when a child has read their very first sentence. Yet, we still search for more.  Maybe it because our souls are used to change and daring to risk the experience of the unknown. There are others of us that look back and wonder what if we had taken a step that seemed out of character because our character has always been used to playing it safely with life. However, I think that our world needs both but we need more.

The great mystic, Rumi, asks us a very poignant question.

“When will we begin that long journey of discovering ourselves?”

This simple question elicits many thoughts and emotions.  It is ok to be fearful in beginning the search for who we are and what we want to do in this gift called life. It is ok to get angry when life seems to be a struggle or even going very well when we get a notice from the doctor with bad news. It is ok to have sweaty palms before you walk down the aisle or to make a life commitment with another person.  

And…

It is ok to smile and to receive the gift of recognition. It is ok to fall in love. It is ok to stop every once in a while to look back at the path that has helped you to see where you have come from and in the process grown as a person. It is ok to feel the exhilaration of daring to go somewhere or to do something that you would have never imagine going to or doing. It is ok to shed a tear of happiness over the joys of life… or to laugh so hard that your sides hurt.

We often times dare not because we are afraid of failing.  However, when we fail to act we fail to discover a part of ourselves that is hidden away in a place that can only be unlocked by the key of risk. Other times we dare not because we want the instant sense of accomplishment. I think that Rumi used the word “long” for a purpose. Many times the effort takes longer than the act itself. How many times have we prepared for a major event then when the event gets here we discover that the moment went faster than we had hoped it would.

Sometimes, we are reluctant to seek out our inner self because we are afraid of change. Change is hard work.  Change is painful and not always enjoyable. If change came easily or without turbulence, then we have to question whether or not it was change.  If we go to the gym and never get sore nor do we ever sweat, we will not see the changes that we truly want. For a cell to grow it must be divided. So, maybe we struggle with growth because we are attached to people that do not want change. Maybe we are addicted to a lifestyle that wraps the metal shackle around our spirit that yearns to be free from a slavery of an unhealthy life.

John O’Donohue continues to write.

“But your soul loves the danger of growth”

As I ascended to the top of a Flatiron, I faced my fear of heights. It was at this point that I had to let go of Molly for the first time and little did I know at that time that facing an even greater fear later the next year I would have to let her go again but for the last time.

Many times we look at life and see the opportunities to change right in front of our “faces”.  We cling to a rock’s stony flesh and fear that we will fall. We walk the precipice’s precarious edge wonder if we can keep our balance.  It is then as we take the next step we discover something new…

What are some of the dreams that we hold on to so tightly that we are afraid to let it go and let them have their freedom to become a reality?  Do we meet the face of those in need and wish we could do more?  Do we know deep within ourselves that we have a gift but we are afraid to unwrap it because of the fear it may get broken while we use it?

We all have the opportunity to live a life that dares us to do more and as Ralph Ellison writes,

When I discover who I am, I’ll be free.”

Breaking script… Namaste