streams of thought...january 25th, 2014

"It is not because things are difficult that we dare not venture. It is because we dare not venture that they are difficult" - Seneca (1st Century)

I think that we need a break. A moment of time where we allow time to move while we pause. Perhaps we need to walk into a field or to find a chair in our home and close our outward vision of all that is going on around us. This world of ours is a lot to take in don't you think?

Then.....

We need to open our eyes and hearts to the possibilities.

Someone asked me recently about this new mantra of mine. Just in case someone has missed it or perhaps we have just started to walk this journey together; I made this year my year of "Breaking Script".  It is actually a title of a talk that Rabbi Sharon Brous gave this past September.  My ears are open to all truths and she is one of my favorite people to hear truth from.

"Breaking Script" simply means that the role that I had been playing is no longer the role I accept or want to continue have a part in.

When we stop to think about the role we play, let’s ask some questions. 

How many relationships are we in that are unhealthy and undermined our own sense of value?  It doesn't matter what kind of relationship it is; because anytime we interact with another person or group it is relationship. Sadly, we might even be doing this to ourselves.

How many of us are in dream state where we wish we could fully utilize our skills but we seem invisible at the place where we work?

How many are in family relationships that have placed us in the role of being a rescuer...a victim...a locus of blame...an enabler?

How many classes have we sat in where we are nothing more than a student id number?

How many of us have walked into a gym where we simply feel uncomfortable?

How many of us have sat in our homes wishing that we had a sense of connection with others so we become addicted to social media?

Relationships are delicate balances. So is life. They can bring us utter and unimaginable joy... a sense of acceptance that is not just physical but goes much deeper than that. They can, also, bring us pain... a state of being where you just can't move. I think we all have experienced both joy and pain to this degree.

We look back at not just what was but we think about what we truly hoped that it would have been. We have a struggle that leads us to wanting more but we stopped to think about what we have to do to make it different?  

We have to risk living a life that is not filled with "what if's" and "should I's".  Let’s find out what inspires us to have a role that gives us a sense of value and space.  If we are really wanting to live a life that allows us to breathe deeply, we will realize that it is not perfection that what we should strive for but it is a sense of inner strength of moving in life knowing that you are being present and authentic. This effort to discover who we are is the place to begin and from this beginning place we should not settle for the lesser of who we are but to chase... to grab on to... and to embrace the greater part of who we are meant to be. We need to stop being the lesser of who we are because how we present ourselves is how others will accept us.

In my effort of breaking script from my previous illness, the other day I was running and I was thinking about a lot of different things, as I always seem to do. I thought about those that are still suffering from illnesses that have turned their lives upside down. I thought about a friend who recently lost a deeply loved one. I thought about what I can do to make my project to Nicaragua the best it can be... I thought of the people that are suffering from abuse, disease, and mental disorders.

An idea came to mind...

For us to be a light we need to go into the darkness. For us to share love we have to confront hatred. For us to give hope we have to be willing to pick up those who are empty of all hope.

In other words, breaking script for me means that I have to risk. I have to step outside the normal course of life and to risk being authentic. I know the script that I have been playing for too long and that is a role that I am no longer willing to be a part of. What does "taking a risk" mean for you? I have no idea; however, you do.

We need to be bold in our lives. We need to live with a lion's heart.

We always be pushed into roles that emphasize a lesser filled life, it is simply a struggle that we will always encounter. We need to remember… we deserve to live a life that displays our greater and true self.  

breaking script....Namaste

streams of thought...january 17th, 2014

It is a truly an amazing thing… here I am sitting in my home… Tigre curled up in a ball next to my desk… having my morning coffee and what do I hear?  A train.
Now, I live in the beautiful Washington Park area, which is a nice quiet kind of neighborhood.  We have more joggers and dog walkers than we do cars… ok maybe I exaggerate just a little but seriously our little neighborhood is nicely tucked away in Denver. So, I smile when I hear that sound moving into my home… into my room… into my previously and soon to be once again a quiet place.
I smile not just because it is so quiet that I can hear the distant moan of a train’s horn but I smile because I simply enjoy trains. A tad old fashioned, I know. It is actually quite…dare I say romantic?
Another thought that comes to mind, when I think of trains, is the idea of transition. After all, one of the greatest unification tools used to bring this amazing country into being was the advent of the coast to coast rail system.  I know that currently we see trains with a mixed sense of emotions. Some would say that they are too slow. Some would say that they do not serve our population very well.
Others might point to the fact that they are truly an escape mechanism… and in that regards they will cause us to slow down.
For me to travel to my other favorite city of Seattle, it would take me two days on a train; while, if I traveled by plane I could arrive there in a matter of hours. Here is the difference…I would miss the most beautiful part of getting there.  I would miss the transition of coming from the arid eastern slope of Colorado, a mixture of plains and mountains, to the more lush green scenery of the beautiful Northwest.
Transitions. An interesting word because to me it is a mixture of two words… transfer + positions. We simply are moving from one place to another. Some desire and dare I even say yearn for transitions to take place.
Politically, many individuals want it all the time.
Emotionally, it does happens to us all the time. We can be euphoric over a relationship, career, house, possessions, and many other aspects.  However, in a moment’s time we can feel a sense of disappointment that a relationship was not what we thought… a career ended up being a dead end…possessions become used and antiquated.
Physically, we will typically look for it at least twice a year. At the beginning of the year and when it is time to get out the bathing suits.
Spiritually, we want it or experience it when something deeply impactful happens. An illness. A life threatening event. A journey on to our “mat”. A natural disaster. A major national event that moves us so deeply that we act to show concern. The birth of a child.
We all live in and want transition until…it requires a deeper movement. We lose a job and the only one that seems to be available is hundreds or thousands of miles away. We lived a life that was not truly authentic with who we are and then we are met with the stark reality that we need to make a change before we have lived a life that was not only dishonest but one that robbed us of our true self.
We look at transition as some mysterious act of life when in reality we do it all the time. Fluidly, we move through the day making adjustments to our schedules and to our day without hardly a second thought. Those are the simple transitions that we see at that moment as being necessary. Yet, we are reluctant to make the bigger transitions.  Some of us have worked almost all our lives at jobs that were not careers. We have chased job after job, all in search of a better one, when all it really came down to is that really we were searching for ourselves. We have looked for companionship and instead of waiting we launch into relationships after relationships…then it happens…we realize that the companionship that we needed first was actually within ourselves.
Trains and transitions. They both take time. The life of expediency many times is unsatisfying. Once something happens quickly, we start looking for something else to happen. We get uncomfortable with moments of development.
I remember the day that I was told by my doctors that I was healthy… a time period that saw five surgical procedures performed…and I remember sitting in my car by Cheesman Park…it came like a whisper…I am going to be ok.  There have been other struggles since then but to inwardly accept the transition that was confirmed by the doctors took time.
No longer do I hear the train. It is probably down the tracks a few miles by now. My coffee cup is now empty and “T” has moved to another location in the room.
We have no way of knowing what is on the other side of the “mountain crest” that we are travelling; however, to stop now means that we will never know.
I want so much to say something that will not just motivate you but will inspire you to simply take one step… that is what transition is…taking one step at a time. However, many times transitions unlike the train moves in silence.
Breaking script…Namaste