streams of thought...february 20th, 2014

"Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are." Bernice Johnson Reagon.

I am learning an interesting lesson here in Denver. The lesson is this. I should never expect to know what the weather is going to be like within the same day let alone one day to the next. We had beautiful sunny 60 degree weather throughout the day yesterday; however, around 8 pm it started to snow.

Learning the art of never really knowing what to expect seems to fit in all other areas of life, too.

So, let me ask this question. How are our beginning of the year commitments coming along? 

We all know that they were difficult.  For those that have kept up with those commitments, we applaud you for your efforts and successes.

Some of us remember the commitments and realize that we let them go a few weeks ago. 

Some of us are still hanging on to them; however, it has become a battle to keep them going and only do it on a sporadic basis. 

Keeping those commitments is a battle.  If it wasn't a battle, we might be either guilty of setting the "bar" too low or we may be wondering why we didn't do them earlier.

Well, we are near the end of the second month of this New Year.  The feeling of spring is starting to set in with the arrival of March.  Oh, we know that we will still face some winter moments in the next month or two; however, inwardly we know that spring is almost here. The season of natural introspection is about to blossom into the season of new energy. It is during this time of the year that we find a new breath. We get new energy.

Unfortunately, I believe that we miss the spiritual seasonality of life. We get so tired of the cold... and the snow... and the bitter wind. We miss this seasonal opportunity to drawn within so that we can assess who we are becoming.  We get distracted from asking ourselves, “Are we being true to who we are designed to be as a person?” 

No, I don't mean that we ask the question that we seem to ask ourselves often... "Am I working at the right place?"  No, it is deeper than that. 

Do we ask ourselves?

If I have the heart of an artist, am I developing and utilizing those skills that speak from my heart? 

If I have the capability of being a leader, am I giving myself the opportunity leading a class or a project or a movement?

If I am a thinker, am I developing this gift by reading great books or developing ideas that could change the world?

If I am a listener, am I giving the gift of my presence to someone who needs to be heard?

It is in this season of winter that all external signs of nature's life seems to disappear.  The leaves on the trees have fallen.  The flowers are still yet a seed in the soil of the earth. The warm air may briefly appear like it did yesterday but can quickly escape because it lacks something that we create within ourselves... limitations. 

Yes, we create within ourselves the shackles called “limitations”.  Life has been described as a "brief moment of time" or "we are like a vapor". Yet, time has no limitations.  Vapor has no limitations. The wind has no limitations. Who can harness either of those things? So, why do we want to harness our own capabilities with self-imposed limitations?

We create limitations within ourselves.  Erroneously, we impose them on others by saying or doubting their capabilities. 

If we are a business person, we look to see what a new applicant can do to increase our bottom line; instead of thinking outside the box and wondering if the job is the right one for this person. Basically, we place the job above the person.  We wonder if the person is the right one for the job instead of wondering if the job is the right one for the person.

If we are a coach, we have kids who try out for positions. During the course of the try out, we have children trying out for positions that do not fit their capability.  So, we should help them to see the strengths of who they are so that they can develop their value by being the right "player on the team".  

As a parent, we think of how successful we want our children to be without really wondering what defines success for each of them; because it is going to be different with each one.

We are still in a season of dormancy.  We are still hiding our "seasonal leaves".  If the original commitment of the year is still in play then keep on moving towards its completion. If the original commitment of the year has been pushed off to the side, don’t think negatively about not keeping it.  Consider the fact that maybe we just made the wrong commitment and make the right one today.

We are confined by our limitations.  We are defined by being who we truly are meant to be.

 

streams of thought...january 27th, 2014

“Frustration is the first step towards improvement. I have no incentive to improve if I’m content with what I can do and if I’m completely satisfied with my pace, distance and form as a runner. It’s only when I face frustration and use it to fuel my dedication that I feel myself moving forwards.” – John Bingham
In Denver, a person will see a plethora of stickers on the back of vehicles that show “26.2″, “13.1″, and “70.3″. All are proud badges of honor of accomplishments that have been done. Like many that I know, when I start off on a run the very first steps seem to be the most difficult. Our bodies are still tight, even though we have done the proper amount of stretching. We begin to feel our lungs getting used to the expansion that is going to be required as we get further into the run. Some of us have our ear buds in the auditory canal… either there are musical notes beginning the beat that many times matches our will and our footsteps… or there is a subtle soothing voice that says “You are now beginning your run.”  All the while, we know the path and how far we want to go.
Often, we start our run and we come across something that causes us to detour our path or possibly we have a canter that doesn’t feel quite right. For those that have a goal in mind, we mentally fight to make adjustments.  For those of us that don’t have a goal in mind, we simply turn around to go back home.  All along the way we get frustrated and inwardly say how stupid it was to even attempt this exercise. We think about all the other things we could do to get “exercise” or how nice it would be in our warm homes on such a cold day.  Then we do the ultimate act of violence against ourselves… we think “I can’t do this, anyways.”  We declare ourselves to be less than we really are meant to be.
It wasn't just for external reasons that we initially thought of changing our life course. No, we saw a need and we wanted to change.  We wanted to “break script” from a life that was not going in the direction that we wanted to go in. We got tired of being out of breath when we walked up a flight of stairs… or we couldn’t move from an “up dog” position to a “chaturanga” in a fluid jumping motion… or we simply wanted to be healthier.  We wanted something back that we felt like we had lost. We wanted our youth back. We got so tired of being tired. We saw the vitality of the young and wanted it. We saw a life that we might have had and simply misplaced. We allowed the rhythm of an external life to carry us away to a place of mindless movement.  We may have rebelled at first and fought against it.  We promised that we would do extra workout outs after we binged on an extra-large, extra meat pizza. But those promises gave way to other things… and then eventually we just adopted a lifestyle that did not fit.
Now, we find a longing deeper within to get back what we had given away. Now, we want to live a lifestyle that is more representative of what we value. We get the inner motivation to become more active.
This inner motivation is what fuels our drive to the gym, the recreation center, the nearest Cross Fit location, the athletic store, the dance class… or whatever we want to do that will “make” us what we now want to be. We pay for the classes, the memberships, and the gear. Then we go to the local health food store to get the latest in whatever it is that we are looking to accomplish.
Then it happens.  We start to “run”. We are feeling sore from the previous workout and can barely move… we look in the mirror the next day and we wonder why we don’t see the changes that we are working towards wanting.  Or we get detoured in life due to a major illness… or life got derailed by a death or a loss of a significant other… or we get our inner value diminished by the loss of a job.
We sit back in our life chair and wonder “What is the next thing to happen?”  The quick burn of motivation is extinguished. We want to simply quit. We retreat inside and depression fills the void left by motivation. We find ways to escape the depression through activities such as games, television, or more life threatening lifestyle choices.
Life’s cadence is altered many times. It falls out of rhythm. It can be very frustrating.  John Bingham used the word “dedication” in the quote mentioned above. We misplace the idea of motivation when we are really looking for inspiration. Inspiration is the deeper sense of embracing an idea… an idea that leads to an act that is clothed in dedication.  When we are inspired, we move with a greater sense of dedication.  We give space to the fluidity of emotions that we will have as we “run our life race”.  Instead of seeing the emotions as being anchors and weights, we will find them as a wind that leads us to a greater understanding of we are and what struggles we have in discovering our true self. Allow the emotions that we encounter the freedom to move through not reside in our lives.
breaking script…Namaste

streams of thought...january 15th, 2014

What is one of your most favorite quotes?  I smile every time I read or hear one of Yogi Berra’s infamous lines.
“Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical.”
“Little League baseball is a very good thing because it keeps parents off the streets.”
Then there are the thought provoking ones like from Lao Tzu, “From caring comes courage.”  Or from Martin Luther King Jr., “The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression and cruelty by bad people but the silence over that by good people.”
I am sure that with the beginning of the New Year we have all made personal promises to ourselves.  We may have even claimed a quote or set of quotes that we want to set before ourselves as self-motivating speeches. Words that have been put together by a single individual who has insight into the needs of a needy person. As soon as we claim a statement as our motivation, we declare our “need”.  A “need” that says I have an inner desire that requires an external stimulus.  I don’t think that there is anything wrong with having motivational quotes around your home or in your presence. In fact, I strongly suggest finding really great ones… great in the sense that they not only pacify but they push you past a point of discomfort and into awareness.
Sometimes we need to have an external voice that comes along with our inner voice and tells us that we can be more than we even dare to dream to be… now notice that I said “be” not “do”.
“Doing” is an action that is typically short lived while “being” is something that is reflected in how we interact with others.
The act of “doing” can often times be a pacifier. Often times we do things because we have this perception that we need validation.  Sometimes, we act out of a need to fill a void deep within ourselves. We may have never been given the gift of knowing how valuable we are; so we act in response to showing that we are worthy of being present. We accomplish many things in essence to make up for what we fundamentally needed… a deep sense of self validation. The problem with that is that when self-validation is satiated by doing something, we will constantly always have to do be doing something; when in reality we need to validate who we are by embracing our own intrinsic value.
Many times the act of being present is not by being seen but by being felt.  We are so deeply connected with the beauty and value of who we are that we have the space and energy to offer the same gift to another person.
The act of “doing” is often times seen as a necessary process of gaining something… a reward… a possession… a better “position” in life. If our purpose of acting is only to gain something then I am afraid that we have missed our greater gift.
Our greatest gift is our presence.
Thich Nhat Hahn once said, “The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.”
What is one of your favorite quotes? Mine is something that I heard a long time ago but it now has a new meaning for me.
“And the Word became Flesh…” - John 1.14
I understand the context that it was written but I think that we are missing a greater picture.
Here is what I see when I read that quote. Make your words an action. Live out what you believe in. If I want to be known for what I believe in then I need to reflect it by my own presence because it continues on by saying “and lived among us.”
I am very much a believer in acting not with judgment but with compassion.  I have a tendency to lose sight of that. It happens when I allow stress, anger, insecurities, and fear to sprout from the soil of my being.  The one thing that I am learning is that these emotions or thoughts that I consider as being negative and fight against are actually stern teachers that give me insight into who I am. It is not the presence of those emotions that I need to be aware of but I need to be aware of the reason that they are there.
Why am I stressed? Why am I angry? What am I insecure about? What am I afraid of?
These emotions are not meant to be weights that drown me into despair but are weights that I need to use as an exercise in becoming stronger.
Inwardly, I bow into the thought of allowing my words and thoughts becoming flesh.  Allow the One that came in the act of love and forgiveness be the Model for how I live out the rest of my life.
breaking script…..Namaste