steams of thought...august 31st, 2014

This year we have had a relatively pleasant summer.  It has been a nice blend of intense heat along with what was seemingly a much wetter season than we are accustomed to having in this high plains desert city.  Well, that’s been my perception.

Perception... the act of perceiving.  Ah, there is that word... "act".  Everyone knows that I love looking at words (and it drives a lot people crazy when I do). Yet, when I think of “act”, I am instantly thinking of a person in movement that displays on some level their sense of identity.

And if I am correct then I have some questions for each of us…

Have our perceptions changed over time?  Have we lived a life that challenges those previous perceptions that we may have held... no carried... and guided us from the distant past?

I dare to say that if our perceptions that we had twenty years.... perhaps maybe even twenty months... yes, even twenty days ago have not changed or fluidly adapted then we have not truly lived life.  Think about this for a moment. If we have not grown emotionally, physically, mentally, or spiritually then we have become nothing more than a “garden gnome” in life. We will have sat or stood in "life's yard" watching cars... people... pets... rabbits and squirrels go by without a mere reflection or awareness of what is all around us.

Do you know who you are?  Do you know what you have become or have the ability to become? Do you have a dream so vivid that you can feel the emotions within you rise up when you see the life that you desire?

What are you passionate about?

Some of us are thinking about the “end of life” issues; while others are thinking about living a life.

While being aware of the former, I prefer the latter. Also, I deeply believe that we live, feel, and think in tune with the seasons of time.

This is the season of summer, a time of action, and it doesn’t feel conducive to deep reflection. No, this is the time of year that we go to the parks or take a vacation or have family reunions.  It is the season for bombastic celebrations. When like the "Fourth of July" fireworks, we seemingly just want to announce to the world.... HEY, I AM HERE!!!!!!!

This is a season when we externally search for something new; even if we go to the same beach house or camp site, we celebrate the moments when we discover a "jewel".

The season of summer... a time when we celebrate life and a time when death seems to have been suspended. Sure, we will grief over the losses that we had this summer when the leaves start to fall and we begin to move back inside ourselves to look a bit longer into the mirror.

Seasons. Movement of time. Life is all about cycles.

So again I ask…

What is that you dream about?  Is it playing on the beaches of the world?  Is it to hold your grandchild until they fall asleep in your arms? Have you ever dreamt about living at peace in your community? Have you dreamt of waking up next to someone that you are passionately connected with so much that you think more about how their soul feels than you do about having sex with them? Have you ever dreamt of climbing a mountain peak? Have you dreamt about writing a book or a song? Have you dreamt about the deeper reward of finishing a marathon, triathlon, or maybe even running around the block?

Here is my next question… when will you do them? Does your mental apparitions reflect your values? If they bring you peaceful contentment and celebration for your “inner greater angel”, then just simply make them reality.

Dreams are for those that sleep.  Let your "inner sense of being" awake and let your mind, spirit, and body transition as one fluid movement.

We are greater than the soulful slumber that has visions.  Yes, I will say this because I know that we all are thinking it… we are limited.  I get it.

I remember when Carlos, my CNA, came into my room and told me that I was going to take my first walk and it was to a chair in the room. I remember the day that I could not even walk around the block without having to stop at every corner to rest and catch my breath. I remember the day that the doctors finally said that I could go for a jog not a walk. I remember telling myself on my first day of jogging that I would "jog a block / walk a block". I remember.... yet, I am here.

We allow our perceived limitations to become bigger than the vision that we see for ourselves. Guess what.  Those limitations are nothing more than exercises for our soul. When we overcome one then we feel empowered to take on the next. We will not accomplish "greatness" with one step but we become better with each step that we take to accomplish the greatest challenge of all.  That challenge is to live a life in the most meaningful way that reflects the truest spirit of who we can become.

Our life is present whether we are or not.

streams of thought....april 8th, 2014

“To accomplish great things we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.” – Anatole France

As a child, we all seemed to have had dreams. 

We all played games of adventure and fantasy. 

When I was young boy, we would many times grow up wanting to be the noble character of a fireman, or a sports figure, or a doctor.  It was a time when many of us simply may have wanted to be what our father’s had been… a farmer… a salesman… a person that went off to do whatever it was that they did.  During that same era, the young girls wanted to be teachers… or nurses… or to be doctors as well…. or they, too, simply may have wanted to be whatever their mothers might have been. 

Growing up in the Midwest during that time was just simpler actually.  It was simple… somewhat satisfying… yet… there was something within us that wanted more.

I remember dreaming of becoming a park ranger.  I liked the outdoors… the chance to live near the mountains… In fact, I vaguely remember a television show that was about being a national park ranger.  It was exciting… you lived in some amazing places… and did exciting things… and you got to rescue people because it seemed like every week there was somebody that needed rescuing. Then I realized that a park ranger in the mountains had to climb a lot of things; so, I quickly crossed that dream off my list because I had this fear of heights.  

We all have dreams; even now at this very moment. 

We have things that we want to accomplish.  We have weaknesses that we want to overcome.  We may be facing an illness that we are working to not only move on from but to regain a life that we once had or thought that we wanted back.  We may be struggling with a break in a relationship that seems entangled in our hearts and souls. We may dream of retiring to that beach front cottage or to travel the globe experiencing the richness of life that we have worked so hard to develop.

To dream is the life of the inner child within us.  It is the simplicity of that child that is willing to dare the impossible because, as a child, there aren’t any impossibilities.  The child within us wants to be courageous and to do that which is considered risky.  Many times the most colorful of ideas come from the child within us.  Yet, a child needs something to empower them to act out their fantasy.  It needs security. It needs reassurance. It needs to feel that no matter what happens tomorrow will be another opportunity to act the dream all over again.  It needs an adult.

The adult.  We all know this part of us all too well.  The adult is the one that says that there needs to be order and tells the child all the time that its fantasy is silly.  The adult in us counts the cost that says it is too risky to do some of the things that the inner child wants to attempt.  It tells the inner child in the back of our minds to sit down and to buckle up. The adult…. It is the one that disciplines us sometimes because the mischievous child acts out a dream on their own. It is the one that sets the boundaries too tightly because…. Well, it doesn’t want the child to be hurt.  Our adult personae tells us to be rational in an irrational world.  All the while, the adult part of us wants to have freedom to have fun… but we have stifled the child so much that we lost sight of it.

Then there is the adolescent within us that has the energy to act upon the dreams of the inner child but still needs the guidance of the inner parent.  The inner teenager says that they know that it can do what the inner child wants to do… and do it even bigger.  It is the “older sibling” that is not willing to listen to the parent because it is still deeply connected with the younger child but won’t admit it.  It is the part of us that wants to discover who we are by trying to do all that we can.  It is the energy storehouse of all the inner passion… healthy and unhealthy.  It is the reckless one that doesn’t mean to be careless but they are still trying to find their own meaning in life.  The inner adolescent is the one that looks in the mirror every day and says “what can I accomplish today because I am invincible enough to overcome anything”.  The only problem is that sometimes that internal mirror is a distorted reflective object that can create some unhealthy imagination.

We all have dreams….

We all have the ability to release the inner child into the playground of possibilities.

We all have the inner teenager that says that I can do anything… I just don’t know what it is that I want to do.

We all have the adult that has learned over time how to protect itself and to plan out a contingency when things go awry.

Sometimes we forget about that inner child and lose sight of our dreams of desires. 

Many times the inner adolescent shows up as our insecurities of just not knowing what we want to do and questions sometimes if the dream that we dare to “dance” with will say yes.

Life is filled with risks and dares us to dream… when the inner part of who we truly are becomes present that is when we can live this life with the richness of meaning.

 

Breaking Script… Namaste.

streams of thought....february 4th, 2014

“Your feet will bring you to where your heart is.”  – Irish Proverb
It is another cold and overcast morning.  A beautifully typical morning for winter time.  There are a few people scattered around the coffeehouse this morning.  A few early students who are either working on projects or possibly getting in that last minute mind expansion of information for an exam that will come and go.  Quickly the exam will be forgotten along with the information that memorized for it.  The information that we so diligently studied will fade away along with the short term promise that we will never wait until the last minute again.  It is a dance that we all do at times. We know that there is a project, an exam to prepare for, and a race to prepare for or possibly…. the next chapter of our life that we are wanting to write but our mind is not willing to find the words or action to start it.

There are a few of us in this room that have asked this question to ourselves… “What is that I really want to do?”

There will always be the response of…
I want to head to the slopes to go snowboarding/skiing…. I want to go somewhere where it is warm and the beach is right outside my door… I want to find love, again… I want to spend more time with my family…. I want to…. um, I am not sure. Can I have a moment to think about it?

We have desires.  We have expectations. They are all a part of being alive. Do we ever sit down for an extended period of time and not think about something that we want to do?  It may even be as mundane as paying the bills. It might be at adventurous as exploring a place like Machu Picchu.  It may be as relaxing as finally reading that book that we have thought about for months and never had the time nor the quietness to do it.

We all have an inner need to move.  We would like for it to be a forward progression.

What stops us?

Is it that we feel like we are too old… or too young? Do we feel like we are not ready to take that “next step”?

What is it?

Is it that we look at our lives and say that there are too many obligations already? Do we look at our physical capabilities and wonder how we will finally be able to have enough strength to breathe let alone move? Do we look in the mirror and all we see is a person that has unfulfilled dreams?  While we are looking in the mirror are we looking at the greatest enemy of them all… ourselves?
Why is that we long for and we dream of moving; yet we are emotionally paralyzed.  We see all that is moving around us and yet inwardly our wish to move is met with a “body” that simply… can’t…. move.

What is going to make the difference?  Enough of a difference that we are able to move a finger… to slide our foot forward… to breathe in the air of possibility so that our spiritual lungs are filled with the oxygen of opportunities. What will have to happen so that our inner spirit breaks down the walls of self-defiance?

It might be that we need to look at ourselves in a way that we never thought was possible.  We have to stop just seeing others moving and see ourselves doing the same. We have to have a faith that comes not just from hearing you can do it but a faith that is built in the belief that you will do it. We have to have a foundational shift within ourselves that no longer says I can’t… I am not… I wish I was…. to an inner voice that says I am even though I have no idea where this wave is taking me. We have to place ourselves in an internal state of peace that says that no matter what happens… I have moved. A place that is decorated not with dreariness of dreams never acted upon but a vibrant room that is filled with the spirit that says you are valuable enough to change.

What if the present moment does not match up with the initial plan? Guess what… they never do. A tree that is growing will never look like it did when it was a sapling.  A stream bed is slowly but constantly changing.  So, why do we think that our dreams will be the same as they were when we started? We seem to get either discouraged with or defeated by what is a simple law of nature.  We begin to see that the life plan that we had six months ago doesn’t look exactly like we imagined. The relationships that we were in have either deepen or are a part of our memory. This is the way of life.

The Irish proverb says, “Your feet will bring you to where your heart is.”  It doesn’t say that our hearts bring us where our feet are… but our heart will tell us if we are where we truly want to be. It is in the act of being that we find out where our passion and love of life is honestly residing. And this act of moving does not always mean that we will have a straight path… a path that is flat…. or doesn’t seem to go backwards at times. We will begin the hike…. a trail that may seem arduous at times… we may encounter an illness or a loss or some other kind of significant change. We will see a field of boulders that we need to cross over and wonder if they will shift and take us down the mountainside. We will also find a shady respite from the heat of the moment.  A place that we can hide away but yet still move in.  If we are present enough on this journey, we will see little columbine flower like moments of beauty. A flower growing where it would seem impossible to grow roots but yet…. there it is. A symbol that life has some small moments that will remind of the reason that we are alive… to see the beauty in the midst of the journey.

When we think about where our heart is maybe an even better question is this.  Is our dreams an illusion or are they the beginning of a life that simply… breaks script.

See you on the trails…
Breaking script…. Namaste.